Pleasure goals not orgasm goals
I think that we need to change our sexual goals to pleasure goals, and get rid of the idea of orgasm goals. We might not always reach orgasm, and that is okay.
When I first started having sex with my current gentleman friend, I did not orgasm. But when I documented the experience in my notebook, I wrote ‘I took you inside me and it felt good, not mind-blowing, but good enough to want to do it again, to build on it, to explore it.”
And that is what we have done and now I have mind-blowing orgasms with him! I don’t always orgasm, but I get so much pleasure from my time being intimate with him that I still come away with that post-sex glow. Intimacy in partnered sex for me is not just about orgasms, it is about enjoying the moment and exploring each other’s bodies.
Introducing massage to your partnered sex can enhance the experience and encourage healthy pleasure goals. Trust me, lighting a candle, bringing in crystals and enjoying a sensual massage will blow your mind. We love the Knude Society’s melt massage candle.
Ask your partner to warm some ‘Nothing Nasty’ massage oil between their palms then start the massage. You could also bring a crystal massage stone in to play. Then, when you are relaxed enough, ask your partner to use one of our incredible crystal wands.